Twice each month, executives at the dating app company Hinge gather for a team meeting. But rather than dive into discussions about metrics or revenue, they begin by simply talking.

For the first 30 minutes of the two-hour meeting, these coworkers reveal hopes and anxieties 含羞草研究社� what they worry about, what they含羞草研究社檙e grateful for, what they含羞草研究社檙e feeling. Even at a company focused on connecting people, forging real relationships in the workplace takes effort, Hinge CEO Justin McLeod told an audience at the South by Southwest conference earlier this year. He was co-presenting at the event with Ann Shoket, whose initiative to combat workplace loneliness is called 含羞草研究社�10 Minutes to Togetherness.含羞草研究社�

As America navigates what Surgeon General Vivek Murthy described last year as employers and employees across the country are trying to address what for many people is a lack of real friendships at work.

Remote meetings of `little heads in squares含羞草研究社�

The problem of loneliness has been bubbling for decades; Robert D. Putnam documented it in his groundbreaking book 含羞草研究社淏owling Alone含羞草研究社� nearly a quarter-century ago. Remote work has only intensified the problem, for extroverts and introverts alike, says leadership expert Michael Bungay Stanier, author of 含羞草研究社淗ow to Work with (Almost) Anyone.含羞草研究社�

含羞草研究社淧eople have this desire to be seen and be heard,含羞草研究社� Bungay Stanier says, but on video calls, the group gets right to the business at hand rather than having the natural, informal interactions of a real room. It reduces people to 含羞草研究社渓ittle heads in squares.含羞草研究社�

It含羞草研究社檚 not easy to talk about this lack of friendship at work 含羞草研究社渂ecause it feels like a shameful confession,含羞草研究社� Bungay Stanier says. But his clients are beginning to bring up the subject.

Awkward as it may be, these are conversations worth having, according to psychology professor Laurie Santos, creator of Yale University含羞草研究社檚 well-known class 含羞草研究社淭he Science of Well Being.含羞草研究社�

At-work friendships are good for employers, too

In her own presentation at South by Southwest earlier this year, Santos cited research that showed workplace friendships and a sense of belonging are vital to employees含羞草研究社� happiness 含羞草研究社�- and companies含羞草研究社� success.

We assume that friendships at work are 含羞草研究社渁 nice-to-have, not a need-to-have,含羞草研究社� she said.

But 含羞草研究社渕aybe one of the reasons we含羞草研究社檙e all so disengaged at work, maybe one of the reasons 含羞草研究社榪uiet quitting含羞草研究社� seems so appealing, is that we含羞草研究社檙e actively not investing in the thing that might matter the most for our happiness at work, which is our connection with other people,含羞草研究社� Santos said.

New spaces, new programs and `casual collisions含羞草研究社�

Some large companies began paying more attention to employee health long before the pandemic, often focusing on the physical: adding a gym to the office building or serving healthier food in the cafeteria.

Today, more employers 含羞草研究社渁re not just checking boxes, but actually looking at ways to really enhance people含羞草研究社檚 health and well-being,含羞草研究社� says Suzanne Heidelberger, who has led teams managing real-estate problems for global companies including American Express and Fidelity Investments. She focuses on bringing a hospitality mindset to corporate spaces.

For example, employers might:

含羞草研究社� Rethink physical spaces with relationships in mind, she says. Some companies are adding staircases, both to help people get more steps and to encourage the 含羞草研究社渃asual collisions含羞草研究社� that can lead to good relationships. Some are trying to transform green rooftops 含羞草研究社� created to be environmentally friendly 含羞草研究社� into gathering spaces.

含羞草研究社� Create groups and events to help employees find friends who share their interests. 含羞草研究社淚t could even be something goofy, like an ice cream social for dog lovers, where we含羞草研究社檙e going to teach you how to make healthy ice cream for your dog,含羞草研究社� Heidelberger says.

含羞草研究社� Offer online gatherings as well. During the pandemic, American Express offered online cooking classes that helped employees feel connected and introduced them to coworkers.

What employees can do

Employees are also seeking answers on their own, notes executive coach Daniel Boscaljon, founder of the Healthy Relationship Academy, which helps organizations build better workplaces.

It含羞草研究社檚 not always easy: As much as people crave relationships, he says, many lack strong interpersonal skills.

含羞草研究社淲hen you meet somebody with good relationship skills, a lot of times it含羞草研究社檚 like magic,含羞草研究社� Boscaljon says. 含羞草研究社淧eople open up, they含羞草研究社檒l start to talk, they含羞草研究社檒l feel comfortable. Then, sometimes, they含羞草研究社檒l have kind of a 含羞草研究社榲ulnerability hangover,含羞草研究社� where they含羞草研究社檙e like, 含羞草研究社業 was too open there. What just happened?含羞草研究社� 含羞草研究社� People are so unused to it.含羞草研究社�

One key, he says, is to work on one含羞草研究社檚 own well-being. 含羞草研究社淵ou can含羞草研究社檛 have a work personality and a home personality,含羞草研究社� he says. 含羞草研究社淲ho you are as a whole person shows up in every place that you含羞草研究社檙e in.含羞草研究社�

Another strategy, according to Bungay Stanier, is to communicate with coworkers about how you can best work together before you dive into a project.

含羞草研究社淲e含羞草研究社檝e all got our small little habits and preferences,含羞草研究社� he says. 含羞草研究社淎nd we assume what含羞草研究社檚 normal for us is normal for everyone.含羞草研究社�

Raising issues beforehand helps you 含羞草研究社渁void making small rips in the fabric of a relationship含羞草研究社� that keep people from becoming friends, Bungay Stanier says.

Those inevitable rips are also worth discussing. 含羞草研究社淭he relationships that thrive are ones that get repaired,含羞草研究社� he says.

Say hi

More than anything, remember the importance of everyday greetings at work 含羞草研究社� even if they make you a bit uncomfortable. A simple hello, Bungay Stanier says, could be the beginning of the end of loneliness.

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