At what age should kids be on social media? Should they be on it at all? If they aren含羞草研究社檛, will they be social pariahs? Should parents monitor their conversations? Do parental controls work?

Navigating social media as a parent 含羞草研究社� not to mention a child 含羞草研究社� is not easy. Using social media platforms is still the default for most American teenagers, with the Pew Research Center reporting that 58% of teens are daily users of TikTok, including 17% who describe their TikTok use as almost constant. About half of teens use Snapchat and Instagram daily, with near-constant use at 14% and 8% for each, respectively.

But parents 含羞草研究社� and even some teens themselves 含羞草研究社� are growing increasingly concerned about the effects of social media use on young people. Lawmakers have taken notice and have held multiple congressional hearings on child online safety. But even with apparent bipartisan unity, making laws and regulating companies takes time. So far, no regulation has passed.

What are parents 含羞草研究社� and teens 含羞草研究社� supposed to do in the meantime? Here are some tips on staying safe, communicating and setting limits on social media 含羞草研究社� for kids as well as their parents.

IS 13 THE MAGIC AGE FOR SOCIAL MEDIA?

There含羞草研究社檚 already, technically, a rule that prohibits kids under 13 from using platforms that advertise to them without parental consent: The Children含羞草研究社檚 Online Privacy Protection Act that went into effect in 2000, before today含羞草研究社檚 teenagers were even born.

The goal was to protect kids含羞草研究社� online privacy by requiring websites and online services to disclose clear privacy policies and get parents含羞草研究社� consent before gathering personal information on their kids, among other things. To comply, social media companies have generally banned kids under 13 from signing up for their services.

But times have changed, and online privacy is no longer the only concern when it comes to kids being online. There含羞草研究社檚 bullying, harassment, the risk of developing eating disorders, suicidal thoughts or worse.

For years, there has been a push among parents, educators and tech experts to wait to give children phones 含羞草研究社� and access to social media 含羞草研究社� until they are older, such as the 含羞草研究社淲ait Until 8th含羞草研究社� pledge that has parents sign a pledge not to give their kids a smartphone until the 8th grade, or about age 13 or 14. Some wait even later, like 16 or 17.

But neither social media companies nor the government have done anything concrete to increase the age limit.

IF THE LAW WON含羞草研究社橳 BAN KIDS, SHOULD PARENTS?

含羞草研究社淭here is not necessarily a magical age,含羞草研究社� said Christine Elgersma, a social media expert at the nonprofit Common Sense Media. But, she added, 含羞草研究社�13 is probably not the best age for kids to get on social media.含羞草研究社�

The laws currently being proposed include blanket bans on the under-13 set when it comes to social media. The problem? There含羞草研究社檚 no easy way to verify a person含羞草研究社檚 age when they sign up for apps and online services. And the apps popular with teens today were created for adults first. Companies have added some safeguards over the years, Elgersma noted, but these are piecemeal changes, not fundamental rethinks of the services.

含羞草研究社淒evelopers need to start building apps with kids in mind,含羞草研究社� she said.

Some tech executives, celebrities such as and parents from all walks of life have resorted to . While the decision is a personal one that depends on each child and parent, some experts say this could lead to isolating kids, who could be left out of activities and discussions with friends that take place on social media or chat services.

Another hurdle 含羞草研究社� kids who have never been on social media may find themselves ill-equipped to navigate the platforms when they are suddenly allowed free rein the day they turn 18.

TALK, TALK, TALK

A more realistic and effective approach to social media, experts say, that gives children the tools and information they need to navigate a world in which places like TikTok, Instagram and Snapchat are almost impossible to escape.

含羞草研究社淵ou cannot just expect that the kids will jump into the world of social media, learn how to swim on their own,含羞草研究社� said Natalie Bazarova, a professor of communications and director of the Cornell Social Media Lab. 含羞草研究社淭hey need to have instruction.含羞草研究社�

Start early, earlier than you think. Elgersma suggests that parents go through their own social media feeds with their children before they are old enough to be online and have open discussions on what they see. How would your child handle a situation where a friend of a friend asks them to send a photo? Or if they see an article that makes them so angry they just want to share it right away?

For older kids, Elgersma says to approach them with curiosity and interest, 含羞草研究社渁sking about what their friends are doing or just not asking direct questions like, 含羞草研究社榃hat are you doing on Instagram?含羞草研究社� but rather, 含羞草研究社楬ey, I heard this influencer is really popular.含羞草研究社櫤�羞草研究社� And even if your kid rolled their eyes it could be a window.含羞草研究社�

Don含羞草研究社檛 say things like 含羞草研究社淭urn that thing off!含羞草研究社� when your kid has been scrolling for a long time, says Jean Rogers, the director of the nonprofit Fairplay含羞草研究社檚 Screen Time Action Network.

含羞草研究社淭hat含羞草研究社檚 not respectful,含羞草研究社� Rogers said. 含羞草研究社淚t doesn含羞草研究社檛 respect that they have a whole life and a whole world in that device.含羞草研究社�

Instead, Rogers suggests asking them questions about what they do on their phone, and see what your child is willing to share.

Kids are also likely to respond to parents and educators and the sometimes insidious tools companies use to keep people online and engaged, Elgersma said. Watch a documentary like 含羞草研究社淭he Social Dilemma含羞草研究社� that explores algorithms, dark patterns and dopamine feedback cycles of social media. Or read up with them how Facebook and TikTok make money.

含羞草研究社淜ids love to be in the know about these things, and it will give them a sense of power,含羞草研究社� she said.

SETTING LIMITS

Rogers says most parents have success with taking their kids含羞草研究社� phones overnight to limit their scrolling. Occasionally kids might try to sneak the phone back, but it含羞草研究社檚 a strategy that tends to work because kids need a break from the screen.

含羞草研究社淭hey need to an excuse with their peers to not be on their phone at night,含羞草研究社� Rogers said. 含羞草研究社淭hey can blame their parents.含羞草研究社�

Parents may need their own limits on phone use. Rogers said it含羞草研究社檚 helpful to explain what you are doing when you do have a phone in hand around your child so they understand you are not aimlessly scrolling through sites like Instagram. Tell your child that you含羞草研究社檙e checking work email, looking up a recipe for dinner or paying a bill so they understand you含羞草研究社檙e not on there just for fun. Then tell them when you plan to put the phone down.

WHAT ABOUT PARENTAL CONTROLS?

Social media platforms that cater to children have added an ever-growing array of parental controls as they face increasing scrutiny over child safety. For instance, Meta unveiled tools last year that lets parents set time limits, see who their kid follows or is followed by, and allows them to track how much time the minor spends on Instagram. It does not let parents see message content.

But as with similar tools on other platforms such as TikTok, the feature is optional, and both kids and parents have to agree to use it. In order to nudge kids toward agreeing to set up the controls, Instagram sends a notice to teens after they block someone, encouraging them to let their parents 含羞草研究社渟upervise含羞草研究社� their account. The idea is to grab kids含羞草研究社� attention when they might be more open to parental guidance.

By making the feature optional, Meta says it is trying to 含羞草研究社渂alance teen safety and autonomy含羞草研究社� as well as prompt conversations between parents and their children.

Such features can be useful for families in which parents are already involved in their child含羞草研究社檚 online life and activities. Experts say that含羞草研究社檚 not the reality for many people.

U.S. Surgeon General it含羞草研究社檚 unfair to expect parents to manage what their children do with rapidly evolving technology that 含羞草研究社渇undamentally changes how their kids think about themselves, how they build friendships, how they experience the world 含羞草研究社� and technology, by the way, that prior generations never had to manage.含羞草研究社�

Putting all of that on the shoulders of parents, he said, 含羞草研究社渋s just simply not fair.含羞草研究社�

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