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With target access at 24/7: Pink Shirt Day a reminder of the impact of cyberbullying

Amanda Todd含羞草研究社檚 mother hopes to help other families by sharing her story

Conversations are needed to keep kids safe while helping them navigate the complexities of the digital landscape and one B.C. mom is using her own experiences to prevent other youth from becoming victims of cyberbullying.

含羞草研究社淲e can never stop talking about it,含羞草研究社 said Carol Todd, who runs Amanda Todd Legacy Society, an anti-bullying organization. 含羞草研究社淧eople learn from real stories and Amanda含羞草研究社檚 is a real story. I含羞草研究社檝e worked really hard in turning Amanda含羞草研究社檚 tragic, negative story into one that helps others and will continue to do that 含羞草研究社 we含羞草研究社檝e accomplished a lot in terms of setting precedent in conversations around the different areas that Amanda was exposed to.含羞草研究社

Her daughter含羞草研究社檚 experience is one of the most well-known stories of cyberbullying in Canada and has gained international attention. Using flashcards to explain how she was harassed and extorted by an anonymous online predator, the 15-year-old posted a video before she died by suicide in 2012. Almost exactly a decade later, Dutch man Aydin Coban was sentenced in October 2022 to 13 years in prison for threatening, exploiting and harassing the B.C. teen with intimate photos she had sent him.

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While the conversations surrounding cyberbullying have changed in the last decade, Todd said there含羞草研究社檚 more work to be done.

含羞草研究社淚 just want people to understand that it can happen to anybody含羞草研究社檚 kid. I never thought that Amanda would be bullied enough and exploited and have a predator that含羞草研究社檚 from another country.含羞草研究社

Cyberbullying is often 含羞草研究社渕ore overwhelming than traditional bullying because access to a target is 24/7,含羞草研究社 according to pinkshirtday.ca.

In her work as a teacher and a digital literacy and citizenship coordinator, Todd said there is a lot for parents to understand especially with new apps continuously coming out. She recommended parents, caregivers and educators find a few go-to educational resources and gave Telus Wise, Common Sense Media, MediaSmarts, and the Canadian Centre for Child Protection as examples.

But her biggest anti-bullying tool is having direct conversations, whether that be through role-playing different scenarios or discussing privacy settings on various apps. 含羞草研究社淵ou can含羞草研究社檛 effect change without conversation,含羞草研究社 she said.

A December 2022 survey put out by MediaSmarts found 51 per cent of youth have a household rule for sites they are not allowed to visit. The survey asked 1,058 youth in Grades 4 to 11. The survey also found that youth with a household rule about treating people with respect are more likely to agree it含羞草研究社檚 important to speak out when they see racist and sexist content online.

含羞草研究社淲hat they [MediaSmarts] reported out is something we see consistently all the time. We find that schools are doing their part as best as they can but we find that a lot of parents aren含羞草研究社檛 doing what they can as parents,含羞草研究社 said Darren Laur, co-founder of internet safety and digital literacy education specialist company The White Hatter.

含羞草研究社淭he challenge is that today含羞草研究社檚 parents didn含羞草研究社檛 have to deal with the internet. This generation is the first generation that is being given the responsibility of parenting their kids online, and a result of that is there is a need for parents to educate themselves.含羞草研究社

Todd added, 含羞草研究社渋f they don含羞草研究社檛 understand and don含羞草研究社檛 feel comfortable talking about it, our kids won含羞草研究社檛 understand it.含羞草研究社

While phone monitoring apps, such as Jiminy, exist to use algorithms to find sources of concern or interest on children含羞草研究社檚 phones, Todd still emphasized the importance of conversation.

含羞草研究社淚含羞草研究社檓 not a big fan of that because it puts too much confidence in that app 含羞草研究社 it has to be real human kind of stuff that keeps our kids safe 含羞草研究社 conversations, talking about devices, talking to your kids about social and emotional wellness in the digital world. All those things take conversation and time,含羞草研究社 Todd noted.

One opportunity to speak with children about online safety can be Pink Shirt Day, which is marked in Canada on the last Wednesday of February, falling on Feb. 22 this year. It was inspired by a group of Nova Scotia students who wore pink shirts to school in support of another student who experienced homophobic bullying.

含羞草研究社淧ink Shirt Day has morphed into kindness and respect 含羞草研究社 it含羞草研究社檚 still anti-bullying but it含羞草研究社檚 on the positive side teaching children how to behave respectfully to each other and also teaching children how, if you see something, you can say something to a safe and trusted adult and even do it anonymously,含羞草研究社 Todd said.

If you or someone you know is experiencing cyberbullying, please visit gov.bc.ca/gov/content/erase for resources and an anonymous reporting tool.

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Sam Duerksen

About the Author: Sam Duerksen

Since moving to Victoria from Winnipeg in 2020, I含羞草研究社檝e worked in communications for non-profits and arts organizations.
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