Every year, Alon Gat含羞草研究社檚 mother led the family含羞草研究社檚 Passover celebration of the liberation of the ancient Israelites from Egypt thousands of years ago. But this year, Gat is struggling with how to reconcile a holiday commemorating freedom after his mother was slain and other family members abducted

Gat含羞草研究社檚 sister, Carmel, and wife, Yarden Roman-Gat, were taken hostage in the Oct. 7 attack. His wife but his sister remains captive.

含羞草研究社淲e can含羞草研究社檛 celebrate our freedom because we don含羞草研究社檛 have this freedom. Our brothers and sisters and mothers and fathers are still in captivity and we need to release them,含羞草研究社� Gat said.

On Monday, Jews around the world will begin celebrating the weeklong Passover holiday, recounting the biblical story of their exodus from Egypt after hundreds of years of slavery. But for many Israelis, it含羞草研究社檚 hard to fathom a celebration of freedom when friends and family are not free.

The Hamas attack killed some 1,200 people, while about 250 others were taken hostage. About half were released in a weeklong cease-fire in November, while the rest remain in Gaza, more than 30 of them believed to be dead.

For many Jews, Passover is a time to reunite with family and recount the exodus from Egypt at a meal known as the Seder. Observant Jews avoid grains, known as chametz, a reminder of the unleavened bread the Israelites ate when they fled Egypt quickly with no time for dough to rise.

But this year many families are torn about how 含羞草研究社� or even if 含羞草研究社� to celebrate.

When Hamas attacked Kibbutz Be含羞草研究社檈ri, Gat, his wife, 3-year-old daughter, parents and sister hid for hours in their rocket-proof safe room. But fighters entered the house and killed or abducted everyone inside, except for his father who hid in the bathroom. His mother was dragged into the street and shot.

Gat, his arms and legs bound, was shoved into a car with his wife and daughter. During a brief stop, they managed to flee. Knowing he could run faster, Roman-Gat handed him their daughter. Gat escaped with her, hiding in a ditch for nearly nine hours. His wife was recaptured and held in Gaza for 54 days.

Passover this year will be more profound as freedom has taken on a new meaning, Roman-Gat told The Associated Press.

含羞草研究社淭o feel wind upon your face with your eyes closed. To shower. To go to the toilet without permission, and with the total privacy and privilege to take as long as I please with no one urging me, waiting for me at the other side to make sure I含羞草研究社檓 still theirs,含羞草研究社� she said in a text message.

Still, Passover will be overshadowed by deep sorrow and worry for her sister-in-law and the other hostages, she said. The family will mark the holiday with a low-key dinner in a restaurant, without celebration.

As hard as it is in times of pain, Jews have always sought to observe holidays during persecution, such as in concentration camps during the Holocaust, said Rabbi Martin Lockshin, professor emeritus at Canada含羞草研究社檚 York University, who lives in Jerusalem.

含羞草研究社淭hey couldn含羞草研究社檛 celebrate freedom but they could celebrate the hope of freedom,含羞草研究社� he said.

The crisis affects more than the hostage families. The war, in which 260 soldiers have been killed, casts a shadow over a normally joyous holiday. The government has also scaled back festivities for Independence Day in May in light of the mood and fearing public protests.

Likewise, the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, capped by the for Palestinians. Over 80% of Gaza含羞草研究社檚 2.3 million people have been displaced by the fighting, and Hamas health officials say nearly 34,000 people have been killed in the Israeli offensive.

The scenes of suffering, devastation and hunger in Gaza have received little attention in Israel, where much of the public and national media remain heavily focused on the aftermath of the Oct. 7 attack and ongoing war.

After several negotiations on a deal to release the remaining hostages appears at a standstill 含羞草研究社� making it unlikely they will be home for Passover.

The hostages含羞草研究社� pain has reverberated around the world, with some in the Jewish diaspora asking rabbis for prayers specifically for the hostages and Israel to be said at this year含羞草研究社檚 Seder. Others have created a new Haggadah, the book read during the Seder, to reflect the current reality.

Noam Zion, the author of the new Haggadah, has donated 6,000 copies to families impacted by the war.

含羞草研究社淭he Seder is supposed to help us to relive past slavery and liberation from Egypt and to learn its lessons, but in 2024 it must also ask contemporary questions about the confusing and traumatic present and most important, generate hope for the future,含羞草研究社� said Zion, emeritus member of the faculty of Jewish studies at the Hartman Institute in Jerusalem.

The revised Haggadah includes excerpts from hostage families urging people not to hate despite their pain. It offers a guide for navigating the mixed feelings during the holiday, while posing existential questions about the Jews and the state of Israel.

Some families say it含羞草研究社檚 too painful to celebrate at all.

The girlfriend of Nirit Lavie Alon含羞草研究社檚 son was abducted from the Nova music festival. Two months later the family was informed by Israel含羞草研究社檚 military that Inbar Haiman, a 27-year-old graffiti artist, was dead, her body still in Gaza.

含羞草研究社淚t含羞草研究社檚 impossible to celebrate a freedom holiday,含羞草研究社� said Alon. Instead of being with family this year, she含羞草研究社檚 going to spend a few days in the desert. There will be no closure until all of the hostages are back, including the remains of those who were killed, she said.

Ahead of Passover, some families are still holding out hope their relatives will be freed in time.

Shlomi Berger含羞草研究社檚 19-year-old daughter, Agam, was abducted two days after the start of her army service along the border with Gaza.

Videos of her bloodied face emerged shortly after the Hamas attack, one showing an armed man pushing her into a truck, another showing her inside the vehicle with other hostages. The only proof of life he含羞草研究社檚 had since was a call from a released hostage, wishing him happy birthday from Agam, who she含羞草研究社檇 been with in the tunnels, he said.

Still, he refuses to give up hope.

含羞草研究社淭he Passover story says we come from slaves to free people, so this is a parallel story,含羞草研究社� Berger said. 含羞草研究社淭his is the only thing I believe that will happen. That Agam will get out from darkness to light. She and all of the other hostages.含羞草研究社�

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